I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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