ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
