Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
