I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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