can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
