so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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