Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
