I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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