I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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