Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
