So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
