Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
