It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
