Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
