dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize