Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
