I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
