some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
