I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm at about main and main street
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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