You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
