so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
wow bdsm is so cute
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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