you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
