sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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