Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just want to make out with him forever
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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