the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
