That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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