y did u give ur computer a hand job?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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