i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
