stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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