Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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