Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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