Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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