We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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