i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
