kristin has been a bad kristin
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
