The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
