I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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