We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just tell him i said nine months
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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