Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
