She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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