And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
