I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
