And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
