sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
