i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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