NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
