she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
