so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
