I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
