I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
