i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
