Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
