Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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