I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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