We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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