i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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