just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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