Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
