Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
