I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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