Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it glows. i had to have it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
