My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
