her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
