Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
