she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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