Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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