It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
