fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
