why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize