I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
