just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
